Dropping onto the edge of the mattress, Ethan removed his boots, his socks, and then pulled his shirt up and over his head. Scooting back on the bed, he propped himself up on a pillow and tried to relax on top of the comforter that was still rumpled from their earlier encounter.
Heat infused his body as he remembered what it felt like when Beau had been balls deep inside him, staring straight into his eyes as though he were the only man in the entire world who had ever meant anything to him. It was nice to hang on to that dream for a while because he sure as shit knew it wasn’t a reality.
“Lose the jeans,” Beau told him, but Ethan didn’t make a move to comply. He was emotionally and physically exhausted.
He watched as Beau stripped down to bare skin. Despite his own reluctance, his body had other ideas as soon as he got an eyeful of the perfect male specimen that was Beau Bennett.
“Well, if you won’t do what I ask, then I’ll just have to do it for you,” Beau said as he moved around to the side of the bed Ethan had claimed.
Watching, his breath lodged in his chest, Ethan couldn’t deny the intense satisfaction he felt when Beau unbuttoned his jeans and then carefully pulled them down his legs until he was laying there as naked as the day he was born.
But that’s where Beau’s seduction ceased. Ethan stared in disbelief as Beau moved around to the opposite side of the bed, pulled the blankets back and then crawled in beside him.
“Come here,” Beau said curtly, trying to push the blankets out from under Ethan.
Not wanting to cause any more problems for the night, he did as Beau asked and situated himself beneath the blankets and then flipped off the lamp on the bedside table.
“I said come here,” Beau told him, his command leaving no room for any misunderstanding.
Before he had the opportunity to move, Beau was pressed up against him, his hard chest against Ethan’s back, his firm, solid thighs brushing up against the backs of his own.
God it felt good to be held. Just to have Beau’s strong arms wrapped around him. Their fingers twined together and Ethan held them close to his chest, breathing slowly, deeply.
“Thank you for sharing with me tonight.”
Ethan laughed without mirth. “Thanks for letting me ruin the night.”
Beau tugged his hand, forcing him over onto his back, and Ethan stared up into Beau’s dark eyes, the faint light coming in through the open curtains making it possible for him to see somewhat.
“You didn’t ruin anything, E. Just being here with you is more than I ever expected.”
Ethan swallowed, unsure what to even say to that.
“Now sleep. I’m right here if you need me.”
Ethan nodded, not sure whether Beau could actually see him or not. Turning back to his side, he snuggled in deeper against Beau, wanting – no, needing – to feel him.
Beau didn’t close his eyes, didn’t even try to sleep. He simply held Ethan in his arms, breathed in his intoxicating scent and sent up a silent prayer, thanking God for giving him this.
He’d spent his entire life confused about who he was, about what he wanted, about what would possibly make him happy. He’d found clarity when V had so graciously convinced Zane to give Beau what he needed. And true, he had needed Zane. But not for anything more than clarification on what he’d believed for a long time.
Was that wrong? Maybe some would see it that way. Not Beau. And he knew from their last conversation that Zane didn’t harbor any ill feelings toward him. They were friends, as close as brothers, and he cherished that relationship, but no, like he’d told Ethan, Beau didn’t love Zane. Never had loved him other than like family.
Then again, it had taken Ethan letting Beau in, giving him this chance for him to realize what true love felt like. And this… what he felt for this amazing man was real and true and powerful.
Regardless of how he got here, Beau was just thankful he was here. Here with Ethan.
After months of wondering whether he was chasing his own fucking ass, something had told him to keep at it because the end result was going to be worth it. Whatever had spurred him on had been right. Ethan was worth it. Every ounce of love he felt for this man was worth it.
Hearing Ethan’s story, witnessing his pain… that had been a wake-up call for Beau. It explained so much. Ethan wasn’t in denial, although he’d probably say he was. He knew who he was, he just hadn’t come to accept all of himself.
Maybe Gavin was to blame. Or maybe it was Jimmy. Either way, those men had altered Ethan’s world. Jimmy with his God complex, thinking that he had the right to dole out punishment because someone didn’t measure up to what he believed to be the norm. And Gavin for stealing Ethan’s heart and breaking it into a million pieces.